Stop Making Spreadsheets over Important Decisions!

Drop everything for a moment and think about this: How do you typically make decisions? Because it could change not only your career, but your entire life. Do you rationalize and analyze your options or do you just follow your gut? Both are important elements of your intelligence. Many of my clients work in jobs that require high level of analytical skills (like finance and law), and so they have "become" more analytical and come to see the world through the eyes of rational analysis. The problem is that if you base your decisions exclusively on your analytical intelligence, you will miss out on the rest of your intelligence, like your EQ, your intuition and your embodied awareness. So I'm asking you: When it comes to making tough decisions,

1. do you make pros-and-cons lists?

2. do you call your friends to get their opinion?

3. do you sleep on it?

If you do any of the above, here’s my humble advice: Ditch the first two, keep the latter. – Why?

Well, because a) pros-and-cons lists never work for tough decisions. Throw those pros-and-cons lists out! If anything, make a pros-and-pros list when you want to decide between two options: pros of option 1, pros of option 2. In some instances, this can help. Maybe you even make spreadsheets for your decisions? Delete them from your computer NOW unless they contain numbers and you combine them with body, intuitive, and emotional intelligence.

Don’t rely on your b) friends because it’s your decision and not your friends’ decision. You are the only one that can take your own decisions because everyone's different and everyone's life and purpose are unique. If you need important input to make a decision, do your due diligence and yes, that may imply asking people (like your friends) who have deeper knowledge about the subject than you do. But that’s about it. Once you have all the details you need, make your own decision. What's right for others, may not be right for you.

And c) sleeping on it can be helpful in certain cases. We process information, experiences and emotions on a subconscious level while we sleep. In some cases, giving ourselves time to decide allows us to remove the anxiety from a decision. Let’s say you are not sure whether a job is right for you… You may need some time to make a critical employment decision, especially when you haven't learned (or have unlearned) to access your intuition. However, in other cases, sleeping on it may be detrimental for your own growth because time tends to take the enthusiasm out of an opportunity, like a decision to invest in your own development. Because... life goes on, right? And before you know it, you're caught up in your routine again, no longer trusting yourself to create the change you so strongly desired only a day ago, no longer making time for yourself because your to-do lists take control over you… That goes for any decision that requires trusting yourself, any decision that requires taking action that pulls you out of your convenience zone*. A better moment to start that transformation will sure come… Conclusion: It depends on the type of decision whether sleeping on it is the right thing to do... or whether it's a better idea to follow your heart and just do it!

(*There is no such thing as a "comfort zone" for driven people - as soon as we notice we're in our comfort zone, it becomes uncomfortable.)

So how should we decide then? What are some other ways to support our decisions? To gain clarity on which path to pursue, which door to pass on and which door to open?

Let me start with a little reflection on my own experience: In the past, I'd just grab my opportunities and "just do it." I'd follow my heart, I didn't think twice when I was offered a job that took me abroad, even if it wasn't to the destination I had in mind at the time... And it seems like this was the right thing to do: It took me to Spain, and later to Brazil, Argentina, California, and eventually New York City (where I'd wanted to move to in the first place, at the age of 26... funny how the circle closed two decades later).

Having said that, due diligence and a certain degree of analysis are critical for many decisions (most, but not all). I've learned this the hard way. Because with my attitude to "just do it" (which was great for many other initiatives, like moving to different countries and continents with just a dream), I also fell on my nose a few times. It cost me a bunch of money - repeatedly! Why? -- For two reasons: I didn't do my due diligence (analysis) but most importantly, I didn't listen to my inner voice (intuition) when it spoke to me in words of warning. I wanted to trust people badly and I was looking for the easy way out in these instances.

These were some tough and very expensive lessons, which implied a previous (fraudulent) business partner and a couple of well-known coaches, whose astute sales tactics are set to sell you anything, even when it's not for you and especially when you're desperate. And to be completely honest, they all happened in moments when I felt desperate or just like I needed someone to save me or to "make life easier" for me. This cost me precious money I could have invested more wisely; money that could have yielded an ROI. This is also the reason why I decided that as a coach, I'd never sell anyone a coaching program that's not the right fit for them. Coaching can be tremendously powerful, as long as you keep an open mind and do the work; it can catapult your business or career forward big time... when it's the right coaching for you at the right time. That's when you'll get your ROI. But I'm going off on a tangent here...

So the trick is to combine different types of intelligence: analytical intelligence, emotional intelligence, embodied intelligence, intuition and heart intelligence. Let me briefly explain what they are:

1. Analytical intelligence: This one's easy, and most people do it anyway: Do your research, gather the data needed for your decision (numbers, facts, due diligence, expected outcomes, etc.). The problem is, many people stop here. But in order to make the best (and best-informed) decisions, rationalizing them is usually not enough. We must look inside ourselves. It's where we find the best answers.

2. Emotional intelligence: What emotions do you feel when you connect with each option? E.g., will option 1 bring you more joy than option 2? Your emotions can be great indicators when they are combined with other types of intelligence. So take some time to sit down and really tap into the possible emotional impact of each decision. READ MORE HERE

3. Embodied intelligence: Sense what your body tells you about each option. There's a tremendous amount of sensory guidance in our bodies and it's there to be consulted. Let me explain: Certain parts of our brains are used for “embodied self-awareness” and therefore as the basis for sensory decision-making. Now, we must be able to sense our best choices. The way our body signals these choices, which then become preferences, is experience-based (assuming we have completely functional brains). So biologically speaking, we should able to sense our choices. When we’re too anxious, this sensitivity may however be impaired, so the first step it so calm down when an important decision is to be made/is ahead, get that anxiety under control... maybe by taking a few deep breaths.

While embodied intelligence, consciously used, can be extremely helpful in decision-making, it's also not perfect: Let's not forget that embodied intelligence is a result of our past experiences, of conditioning. So while it may allow us to sense potential "right" decisions, not everything we’ve learned and that’s become part of our programming is beneficial. It also creates potential blind spots in our embodied intelligence. Awareness can help us avoid these blind spots, and awareness comes through the practice of accessing our body's intelligence.

In an nutshell: Sense what your body tells you about each option, then check on possible blind spots.

4. Heart and gut intelligence: You've probably heard that your heart is part of your brain. (I've written about "heart-set" before... Feel free to check out earlier blogs.) Your heart has 40,000 brain-like cells that create their own neural network and "think" independently of the cranial brain. Your heart also creates the strongest bio-electrical and magnetic fields in your body. It's quite a phenomenon! It can even survive without the cranial brain for a while... Yet, it's completely underrated in business. We don't pay attention to it. Yes, we hear advice like "follow your heart" or "listen to your heart" from time to time (rarely in corporations), but what does that really mean? Who teaches us to listen to our heart? Maybe our coach or healing practitioner, or a well-meaning friend, but we certainly don't learn it at school or at work.

The gut is another body part that has a crucial role in decision-making. When you have a gut feeling, is that usually right? Well, that's a higher intelligence speaking inside of you, a voice that doesn't care for spreadsheets. It doesn't need them. And it's usually right. We just need to take the time to listen to it and learn to trust it.

Your heart and your gut are places where you can access your intuition. Not the only ones but potent ones. So when coaching prospects know that my program is the right fit for their specific situation but they are still undecided about making the investment, I tell them to make their decision with their heart. I know the investment will pay off, but only they can decide whether they trust themselves enough to transform and create the change they want to see in their careers and lives.

I am always shocked at how little emphasis corporate leaders put on items 2-4, although it’s well-known that EQ is more important than IQ to be a great leader. Our society is still so conditioned to elevate analysis to the throne on the one hand, and dismiss anything that can't be seen or heard (though certainly felt), like energy and intuition and embodied wisdom on the other. For instance, I once read in an otherwise brilliant report by University Press: "For inclusive leaders, diversity of thinking is a critical ingredient for effective collaboration. Far from being guided by hunches and feelings, or leaving success to chance, inclusive leaders adopt a disciplined approach to diversity of thinking, paying close attention to team composition and the decision-making processes employed." (Source: The six signature traits of inclusive leadership by Deloitte University Press). It's important to clarify that "hunches and feelings" are anything is not the same as "leaving success to chance." Yes, other aspects like the ones stated in the report are critical, but feelings and hunches do play a key role in human interaction, and we're talking about leading human beings here. Doesn't mean we shouldn't question our feelings, but that's a topic for a whole other article...

To the advanced decision-maker, the above statement lacks insights into the most powerful process that leads to the best decisions. This process does include feelings, it does include hunches (intuition). After all, as human beings, we were not given feelings and hunches to not use them. It's just that the corporate world has banned these valuable guides as "not rational" or "not analytical." It was somewhat surprising to me to find this derogatory comment about human intuition in an article that is focused on "open-mindedness" and concepts of "diverse perspectives."

When you master these four ways of decision-making, you will no longer feel a need to drag out important (and possibly life-changing) decisions. You'll be able to take your analysis (as required) and then listen and feel inside for the answer.

If you'd like to learn more about empowered decision-making that leads you more decisions without regret, CLICK HERE TO EMAIL ME, and we'll get you on my calendar. - Talk soon!