How to set healthy boundaries at work

When I talk to employees, and especially women, they often share with me that they have too much on their plates, they find it hard to say no, and as a result, they are overworked and don’t find the time to take care of their own careers. They feel stuck in a role they enjoyed in the past, but have outgrown (while at the same time, their role’s scope has outgrown them as more and more tasks have been shoved onto their desks just because someone realized just how capable they were and that they’d never say no).

They realize that they have placed themselves into a trap, and the only viable way out is to apply for a job at a different organization… just to repeat the same pattern in a different place.

Others accept a job that is supposed to be a “temporary” one because they are the only person in their division who can do that job, accepting all sorts of empty promises for the future, which then are forgotten over time… maybe because the person who made them has left, or because the market or the economy have changed. And they realize that people who used to report to them, outpaced them and are now in higher roles (that pay way more). They themselves, on the other hand, were left behind.

That’s why setting healthy boundaries is so critical, especially when evaluating:

1. Whether to take on new tasks

2. Whether to accept a job that’s not aligned with your ideal career aspirations (or even implies a pay cut)

3. Whether to pick up the slack of your team in a bottleneck situation (and how often).

Let’s look at these situations in more detail:

1.       Taking on new tasks:

When taking on new tasks, be strategic! What does this imply?

• Make sure they are tasks that give you “positive visibility,” especially with those who have a say in your career, who make promotion decisions. These could also be tasks that are relevant for your next desired role or spotlight your leadership skills. 

For this purpose, I recommend using a tool to analyze your tasks and activities.

• Don’t just add tasks to your plate; remember to also remove or delegate other tasks at the same time to avoid overburdening yourself. When removing tools, get rid of tedious admin tasks and low-visibility activities.

2.       Accepting a job that’s not aligned with your ideal career aspirations:

Sometimes, personal situations require us to gain more flexibility, for example to take care of family members, children, or our own health… or you may have a different reason for considering this step. Here are some processes to think through:

• First, ask yourself if you really want this job and why. If the answer is no, you know what to do: Say “no, thank you.”

• If the answer is yes, you have no obligation to say “yes” immediately. Give yourself some time to think through all the implications and if the answer is still yes, then it’s time to carefully prepare your terms so you can negotiate powerfully. The last thing you want to do is regret your decision in the future. It should be a win-win. You may want to set a specific term for the job, and of course, you also want to negotiate the salary and benefits you expect and deserve… without taking a step back.

And… the possibility that you “might get pregnant sometime soon” is usually not the best reason to accept such a job. I’ve seen too many women regret this, and I always recommend to play your career cards in your favor while you can.

Download my free Ace Your Salary Negotiation Checklist here: https://transformyourperformance.com/salarynegotiation

3.       Picking up the slack of your team in a bottleneck situation:

Collaborative team spirit is a great trait to have. This doesn’t mean you have to pick up the slack of your team. Again, I could tell endless stories of employees complaining about their colleagues getting promoted, while they were the ones doing all the work, putting in long hours, “saving” the team in emergency situations, working on weekends to meet deadlines, and what not.

As you’ve probably heard me say before: Productivity doesn’t get you promoted; positive visibility does.

Saying “yes” too promptly when asked to work yet another 4 hours’ overtime to meet the team’s deadline can set expectations for you to do this every single time such a requirement comes up. And if you’re honest with yourself, you may say “yes” too fast because of a need to prove yourself, or because it’s less comfortable to say “no.” See, the people around you will find out quite quickly that it’s easy to get a “yes” from you, and they will try again at the next occasion.

So, if you find yourself saying “yes” too quickly, consider these options:

• When a situation calls for a volunteer to resolve it, don’t always be the first one to raise your hand.

• When asked to chime in extra time or effort (maybe because someone else didn’t), pause and evaluate before replying.

• When saying “no,” avoid over-justifying. When you need to sustain your decision, position it effectively instead.

What really helps for setting and sticking to healthy boundaries, is a sound level of confidence. When you are confident about the value you bring to the table, when you truly own it, that’s when any conscious or subconscious fears have no chance to win, and you win instead. Because you are not only less stressed, but also more recognized. Your job satisfaction goes up, and with it the enthusiasm you bring to your work. Try it!

And let me know if you have any other questions about setting healthy boundaries, increasing your confidence, or positioning decisions or negotiation terms, just reach out.