Do the holidays stress you out? – Skip them!
Every time I hear people say that they are stressed about the holidays, I wonder why they allow this type of voluntary stress into their lives. (There may be a ton of plausible reasons for me to stress over, but the holidays are absolutely not among them.)
So, I have not been stressed out about any holidays, ever. Seriously! I refuse to partake in holiday stress. And frankly, before I heard that others suffer from holiday stress, this idea wouldn’t even have occurred to me.
Maybe it’s because I don’t consider myself a very “conventional” person… in a sense that I follow cultural standards. I’ve traveled a lot, lived in a bunch of different countries, and seen a lot. So my motto has become: If I like something, I adopt it. If not, I simply drop it.
Love it? Adopt it! Hate it? Drop it!
For example, I like the idea of Thanksgiving. In Germany, we have a similar holiday, which is called Erntedankfest (giving thanks for the harvest), though people don’t pay nearly as much attention to it as Americans to Thanksgiving. In all honesty, I only remember Erntedankfest from childhood days, and it may be more popular in rural areas than in the cities. It would have been one of my favorite holidays if someone had asked me which ones deserve preserving… more so than some of the newer (and often phony) ones.
I’ve never been a huge fan or religious holidays for two reasons: One, because I’m not religious; and two, because they are completely over-commercialized. But should I happen to be near family for Christmas, which exceptionally is happening this year, I do appreciate the company of loved ones in a festive setting. I have also very much enjoyed the flavors, smells and overall (“cosy-in-the-cold”) atmosphere of the Munich Christkindlmarkt (Christmas market), where Glühwein (hot spiced wine) and local delicacies perfume the air and seduce us to taste flamed salmon, Schupfnudeln or local sausages, followed by Lebkuchen or other season sweetness.
So I wonder, what stresses people out about, let’s say, the Christmas holidays. Allow me to take a few guesses and address them right away, in an attempt to inspire anyone who still experience holiday stress, to leave it behind once and for all. Again, the motto is:
Love it? Adopt it! Hate it? Drop it!
1. Gift shopping:
Most of us like giving presents… when it’s done with the idea to brighten up someone’s face. But when it becomes an obligation, it’s no longer fun and quickly becomes a time-consuming burden.
I get that parents want to surprise their kids with gifts. But I also think that this is usually not the stressor, except when money is scarce. Gifts to adults tend to cause more headaches.
Among my siblings, we dropped mutual holiday gifts a long time ago; yet, we sometimes do love to surprise each other with a little gesture of love out of the blue, for no particular reason, when the moment is right and the giving comes from the heart.
So, if you hate shopping for gifts for your in-laws, don’t do it! No one wants an obligatory gift anyway.
2. Entertaining family you don’t really feel like seeing:
Again, if you can’t wait to see everyone in your family from your in-laws’ siblings to your cousins’ cousins, absolutely do it! But if you’d prefer to spend your holidays in a small circle or even by yourself, then make use of your freedom to decide what’s best for you.
Also, inviting people over doesn’t need to imply a huge meal or loads of work. Try a different approach sometime, like allow people to contribute their own cooking talent.
3. Running to a gazillion holiday parties:
If you find delight in these events, then totally go and have a blast! If not, just don’t go. Simple as that.
4. Working your butt off to take a few days off:
Wanna take days off around the holidays? Cool! Then do it! But if you prefer working through the holidays and take days off at a different time, then do that! But it makes no sense to work a ton of extra hours, running around like a headless chicken to get your holiday shopping done, and go into the holidays completely wrecked… just to get sick because your body finally finds an opportunity to shut down, presenting you the bill for not taking care of yourself and forgetting about your own needs over all the holiday standards imposed on you by others.
These are just examples. Everyone’s different.
I do hope this inspires you to spend the holidays in your very own preferred way, without being stressed, but rather having a blissful time with family, friends, or just self.
Feel free to share your holiday bliss! ,
#stressmanagement #selfleadership